I was talking on the phone with my Mom earlier today, and she told me her and my Dad are getting back into square dancing. My parents are in their early 60's (I'm 34). She said the caller played Michael Jackson, for a modern kick, much different than the usual country tunes. She wanted to know if ebay had square dancing clothes, so I looked it up, and there are some things, sort of dated, available. I had an interesting experience making brownies tonight...I added some bacon grease, and made a frosting out of hazelnut coffee creamer and powdered sugar. It was too runny and it poured over the sides of the pan, so I turned the whole thing into a molten lava-style cake by mushing it into a square blob. I also added walnuts and heath bar bitties. It was really great, just looked bad. When my Mom brought up skirts--she wants to start wearing them again--I thought of my poodle skirt. I had it when I was in maybe first grade. At school we had to dance in front of an audience. Those skirts are soooo big! Mine was pink and my sister's was turquoise. I loved the way they filled out when you'd spin around. The felt poodle was pretty sweet too. That was probably one of the few skirts I actually enjoyed wearing as a kid. My skin is getting worse because of an OCD habit of rubbing and picking. It hurts and is red and discolored. I have rocks I found on the beach that I put into my palm and play with to try and keep myself from doing it. I always go back to doing it. There is a perverse satisfaction in the tactile sensation of it. And it is a direct response to anxiety and boredom. It is 9:45pm in Northern California, U.S.A as I type this. I'm finishing off the last can of bubbly water. I'm taking apart my old Gateway laptop from 2008. Shit looks cool inside; so many circuits. The human brain is ridiculous. The Documentaries "You've Been Trumped" and "You've Been Trumped Too" are available. I want to watch them but I don't really wanna pay money to see them. This month is my 8th year taking testosterone. I have male pattern baldness. The hair's still there, it's just getting thinner on top. I am reading, very very slowly, "The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating", "Our Friends From Frolix 8", and the last Bone comic. I also rented Persepolis and will start it soon. Most people are flabbergasted when they hear I was born in '82. I look 19 or 20. I'm 5' 1.5", 118 pounds. Little guy. Whenever I see another fun size dude in the street I feel amazing. There are others! I'm not alone! Here's a poem to bid you goodnight:
I walk
look back
I am trying
dust step
greasy air
jackrabbits
stretching the distance
my land
withered stalks like tufts
don't know
when it used to grow
grass blades swaying, stinging
only lumps
hands span my sides
-It doesn't have to make sense, it's art. Take random words out of a poem's context and create a new one. Make it simple, complex, sweet or outrageous. Play with the words and grammar.
Stay Outside the Box
poem reference: 'Birthday' by Karen Hesse
